Illness: A Hypothesis

[Horus]

I like to study the opinions of people with similar interests to me, and see if there's a similarity with our opinions too. I've found in most cases that this isn't true, so I want to continue looking.

Imagine that this happened. God forbid that it did ever happen, but assume for the purpose of this thread that you have a terminal illness. This terminal illness will give you six months to live, with no two ways about it. You're going to die in half a years' time.

This poses a moral issue. Do you:


Get a scan, officialise the disease, and have your family and friends find out, or
Keep it a secret until the day you die?


The point in this is that you love the people closest to you so much that you don't want to hurt them. At which pivotal point do you sacrifice this to tell them that you've got just six months to share as much of your life as you can with them? Given this choice, I'd probably take half of the six months just thinking about it.

In fact, I don't even want to think about it. It's threads like these that make you aware of your mortality. Character-building, I guess. What do you guys think? Would you tell everyone, or keep it a secret until you absolutely have to say something?

[Mitch]

Well, this is a very tough question.. One of those "in theory a would... but in practice" questions.
Hmm...
Geez....
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I think that I would hold off for a while, just as you said, probably to think about it. But I think my family would find out before I tell them, I think I would be either in misery and seem like I am dying or would be doing some crazy stuff to make my last 6 months worth it.

[Horus]

I think that I would hold off for a while, just as you said, probably to think about it. But I think my family would find out before I tell them, I think I would be either in misery and seem like I am dying or would be doing some crazy stuff to make my last 6 months worth it.

I agree with you. There gets to be a point where a boring web developer / network admin starts hang-gliding and wing-walking before you begin to notice something is wrong! :p

I personally would make it rather obvious. In my mentally fragile state bought on by the knowledge of impending death, I would distance myself from everyone I know and love, to somehow make myself a little less missed. A reluctance to commit to anything (such as a job) would also be a defining factor. Spending habits (as well as giving habits) would quickly rise, as well as personal gestures of love or declaration of friendship. This really clashes with my previous strategy of becoming more inward on myself, because in all honesty I wouldn't know what to do.

Additional Question: If it was a degenerative condition, would you even stick around for the six months? Maybe perhaps going out on a dignified high while you still had the strength to lift the bottle of pills. I want to live strong and healthy, and realise that huge illnesses don't always "happen to everyone else" as I've allowed myself to believe throughout the past.

(This isn't inspired by something that's happened to me, I want to make that clear)

[Cattraknoff]

I've had four major surgeries, any one of them could have killed me. I've generally come to terms with the prospect, especially after the most recent one, which was only a couple of months ago. Several other near-death experiences have also contributed to this. My problem isn't with death itself, but the purpose of it, and to a lesser extent, the manner in which it happens.

My current plans in my life would likely ensure, if I'm successful a death before I reach my thirties. In a sense, I am already dying, but to do so to a disease or the like would be rather disappointing. Whilst I'm here, I want to do something positive; give something to the world, as it were. Before I die to another surgery, a random event, etc. I'd rather at least give a purpose to the inevitable.

[Horus]

Or die an absolute hero of some sort! :)

I agree with what you're saying. The worrying thing is that it's very easy to die or contract a disease; you hear about as many completely healthy people dying of a heart-attack as a morbidly obese person or a smoker. I like the thought that we are already dying, because in essence we are, since the day we were born.

[Prometheus]

That's a tough one.

On one hand, if you tell them, and you actually live through it, I'd feel the worst because they would be sad about it for so long, needlessly. However if you do die when you are supposed to, then it won't come to such a surprise.

On the other, if you keep it a secret, it'll all come at once for your friends and family.

I am undecided, and hopefully I will never have to decide.

[Coll]

Luckily I'm invulnerable to harm and will never have to worry about this.

But hypothetically, I think I'd tell my sister/friends/etc. so they'd have time to prepare a passing ceremony.